Christmas in Korea

Well Christmas has come and gone, my first Christmas in Korea, my first Christmas away from my family, and it was a strange but enjoyable experience. Christmas is a massive non-event in Korea. In a very Christian country, with churches on almost every street, Christmas ranks below Thanksgiving, Lunar New Year, and even Children's Day as a holiday. All the shops were open as normal, most people went to work as normal, you would never have known it was Christmas Day. Our school was open as normal on Christmas Eve, and it was back to school as normal on Boxing Day. The foreigners all got together at a local pub to have a proper roast turkey dinner which was nice, though I did miss pulling Christmas crackers, wearing the paper hats, and reading the obligatory dreadful jokes.
On Christmas Eve, I had to dress up as Santa at school, and the kids had loads of pictures taken with a cardboard sleigh, some cardboard reindeer, a cardboard Christmas tree, and me in my big red suit standing behind them. One of the Korean teachers then grabbed me for a quick selfie;

I also had my students pose for a picture for me to put on a card and send to some friends, so you can see my kids in their mixture of school uniforms. The orange jumpsuit that looks like they're training to be henchmen in some James Bond movie is their P.E. outfit. Also note, the abundance of neckerchiefs, very popular in Korea;

As winter has started to bite, we've had temperatures hit -7C in the day, and I'm told that in the depths of winter, daytime highs of -15C are not uncommon. Yikes! We've also done some winter themed science work in school, analyzing the crystalline configuration of snowflakes and such;

                                                            Very scientific


In the sporting world, the Ashes has been nothing short of a disaster, so the less said about that the better. As most sports take a winter break in Korea, I have now started playing in a social 6-a-side football league for fear of suffering from sporting withdrawal symptoms otherwise. And am also very much looking forward to the Hong Kong 7s rugby tournament in March.
My last trip to Hong Kong to watch Manny Pacquiao fight was certainly an adventure. As my friend, who is a Hong Kong resident, did not take his passport to Macau, he was therefore refused entry, and escorted back to the ferry to Hong Kong. With time running out to go home, get his passport, get back to the ferry terminal, and get back to Macau (a one hour journey by ferry from Hong Kong to Macau) before the fight started, he sent me a message saying he wasn't sure if he could make it, although the helicopter only takes 15 minutes, and costs $4000. To which I jokingly replied in my best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression - "Get to da choppaaaaaaaa!" Which he did! Dedication to sport! The fight was excellent, with Manny winning a 12 round unanimous points decision.
I got to hear Michael Buffer and his legendary "Let's get ready to rumbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal"
And sitting ringside were such luminaries as David Beckham, Paris Hilton, and one of the Baldwin brothers (it doesn't matter which one, nobody knows the difference).

Next up on my adventures will be a trip to Cambodia for new years, and a visit to Angkor Wat. I am sure I will write a blog all about it next month.


And finally, the Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle
 
Its been another exciting month for the little fella. He had another trip to school, where I let the kids take it in turns to hold him. Tyrion decided to wee on one of the boys, so I quickly picked him up, which was his chance to poo on the floor! This was greeted by much screaming from the kids, and much laughter from me! I will soon be testing his endurance and survival skills, as I leave for a week's vacation, leaving him free reign in my apartment. So here's hoping he doesn't host any wild parties in my absence . . .

Science school

This month has been another busy one, with two open classes at school, much action in both cricket and baseball, and the onset of my first Korean winter.

There's been lots going on at school, with preparations beginning for the next school year starting at the end of February, and a couple of open classes. The school is a private kindergarten for kids aged 4 years old to 8 years old from 09:00 - 15:00, then a private English academy (or Hagwon) from 15:00 - 18:00 for kids aged 8 to 11. However, only kids that went to the kindergarten can go to the Hagwon, so there is obviously a big push to get the kids who are leaving the kindergarten and moving up to elementary school to come to the Hagwon next year. For that reason, we had an open day for the Hagwon, when all the parents come in to watch me teach a lesson, followed a few weeks later by another open day, this time in the kindergarten. Both went well, and it looks like the school will be expanding next year which is good news. The owner was very pleased, and took all the English teachers out for a very nice meal, where I saw some very rare cheesecake;

                                         Rare Cheesecake - Almost extinct in the wild


We were also given some tickets to a concert by a famous Korean opera singer, called Kim Dong Kyu. None of the other teachers went, but it was really good! He did some Elvis songs, and some Frank Sinatra songs, aswell as some classic opera 'hits.' The only downside was before the concert, we had to sit through a 45 minute talk from a bank about saving money, interest rates, tax, and various different savings accounts. All in Korean. With the usual fascinating powerpoint presentation demonstrating how interest rates have changed over the last 10 years. That was less fun, but the concert was great.

Elsewhere, my science classes continue to stray further and further away from actual science. We have four 'immersion' classes that have extra activity classes in addition to their regular English lessons, the activities being science, art, music, and reading. At the start of the year, my science classes were reasonably sciencey, but they've got more and more arty, as we have drawn pictures of a bee, painted a bag, and recently, just drew a vase and glued some flowers on to it. I really feel sorry for these kids. When they go to high school, they're going to have a very confused notion of what science actually entails.

                                                      They don't do this at CERN

In sporting news, the cricket season is over in Korea. It ended with me playing in the Allstar game (yeah, I'm an All Star!), and meeting the Sri Lankan Ambassador to Korea, aswell as the President of the Korean Cricket Association. Very much looking forward to the Ashes, the return of the domestic cricket season in April, and hopefully going to see some international cricket at next year's Asian Games, right here in Korea!
In baseball, my team had their most successful season ever, winning through the playoffs to make it to the Championship game yesterday, against the regular season winners. As expected, it was a tight game, until a couple of individual errors allowed them to go from 2-2 to 5-2 up in their final innings, and we were only able to pull one back, to lose 5-3. Still, I thoroughly enjoyed my first season of baseball, and after I was shockingly omitted from the All Star game next weekend, it will be a few months before I swing a bat again.


And finally, the Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle

Well the little man had a real adventure last week, as I took him into school so the kids could play with him. They are currently learning a song about a little turtle, so it was a good opportunity for them to see one in real life, and despite a few screams from scared girls, and a few less scared boys trying to pull his head off, he's still alive! He's also very much looking forward to Christmas, and celebrating the birthday of Je2sus



Everland and the Korean GP

Its been a busy couple of weeks, with two bank holidays, and a couple of action packed weekends, so lets get started!

First up, was 'National Foundation Day', which no Korean person I asked was able to explain. Was it the day Korea was first founded? When was that? How is it different from 'Independence Day' a couple of months ago? Either way, it was a day off school, so me and one of the other teachers went to Everland, a theme park, and one of the biggest tourist attractions in Korea. I wanted to go for one reason, and one reason only. To see a liger. For those that don't know, a liger is the offspring of a male lion and a female tiger (as opposed to a tion), and as they don't exist in the wild, there's only a very few in captivity in the world, and Everland is one of the places that has one. Sadly, the place was packed, so I didn't get to see the liger, but I will definitely be going back. I did see one of my students, who was crazy excited to see me, despite the fact that she saw me the previous day at school, and would see me again the next day at school. She was so happy to see me, and told everyone at school that she had seen her teacher at Everland. It was hilarious!

That weekend I went down to Mokpo for the weekend to see the Korean Formula 1 Grand Prix. The race is held right down in the southwest of the country, about 5-6 hours away from Seoul. The idea was to build the track, then build a new town, loads of facilities, and make it into a resort to really regenerate the region. However, once Korea had built the track, they ran out of money, so now they have a Grand Prix, miles away from anywhere, which no-one wants to go to. The place was empty, whole grandstands were closed because there was no-one there, and there was maybe one seat in 50 occupied. Despite being ridiculously cheap. It will definitely be the last time they hold a race in Korea. But I saw a couple of crashes and a car burst into flames so I was happy. Here's a shot of Kimi Raikkonen zooming past

We then had another day off this week for 'Hangul Proclamation Day' which commemorates the creation of the Korean writing system, which was only about 150 years ago, as the Korean writing system is incredibly simple and easy to learn. For this day off, I visited a traditional Korean folk village. I saw some traditional Korean tight rope walking, some traditional Korean pottery, some traditional Korean houses, a traditional Korean wedding, some traditional Korean dancing, and had some traditional Korean food. It was all very traditional and very Korean. I also saw some traditional Korean horse skills;

It was actually very good, my only criticism would be that there were too many traditional Korean houses. Once you've seen a couple, (and there are over a hundred), you are quite literally just going round the houses.

In school we're getting ready for another open class (when all the parents come in to watch your lesson), this time for our after school kids, who are more advanced. The school is a kindergarten from 09:00 - 15:00, then an after school club (or Hagwon) from 15:00 - 18:00. I say more advanced, some of the after school kids aren't great. The system we use works on levels, with each class completing a level every two months, and moving up to the next level. So the kids go through 6 levels a year, so a kid on level 18 has been learning English for 3 years. Some of the kindergarten kids I teach at level 12 are super smart, and some of my after school kids at level 20 are . . . . . well . . . . not. Here is an example of a kid's journal;

I should say, that one of his classmates wrote in perfect English about how he'd read a book about Hercules, and that he liked Hercules because he was very strong, and he liked Greek Mythology. He likes Apollo who is a very good hunter, he likes Poseidon because he makes big storms, and he likes Hermes because he is very fast. The kid that wrote the journal above, is a little behind the rest of the group. Or to put it another way, he sometimes takes off his socks in class and chews on them. True story.

In sporting news I was back on the baseball field on Saturday, smashing balls all over the park as my team got back to winning ways. Its nearly the end of the season, with only a few more games before the playoffs. But more importantly, I am playing international cricket tomorrow! I'm playing for a World XI against the Korean National Cricket Team! Korea is hosting the Asian Games in 2014 (like an Asian Olympics), so the Korean Cricket Team is desperate for as much practise as they can get before they get thumped by the likes of India and Pakistan and other Asian nations that actually know how to play cricket. But I'll do my best to give their players a masterclass in batting tomorrow.


And finally, the Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle.

This week, Tyrion and some friends went jewelery shopping! Check it out;

See the World

Last week was Korean Thanksgiving, so I took the opportunity of a 5 day weekend to go to Hong Kong, and have a look around. Having been to Hong Kong before, I also decided I would cross the border into neighbouring Shenzhen and see some of the world. I didn't know just how much of the world I could see . . .

Shenzhen is a big tourist draw for people from both the rest of mainland China and Hong Kong, and consequently there are a few attractions there. One of them is called 'The Window of the World.' Its a sort of model village, but of the whole world. Every major building or tourist attraction in the world is replicated, and while some are quite small, some are pretty big. The Eiffel Tower is 2/3 the size of the original in Paris. So having seen the Taj Mahal, Angkor Wat, the Great Pyramids, Sydney Opera House, Mount Rushmore, and much more, I now feel I can put my passport away. I've seen the world. (I didn't feed the world, it wasn't Christmas). I particularly like this photo, as you can see not just the Statue of Liberty, but also the ancient Nazca lines of Peru (to the right), Easter Island (background), and Christ the Redeemer (top left). 

I also got to visit some ancient Chinese sites, where I learned that while Chinese people put great store in tradition, they also really really like the internet, and their modems.

Give your modem a hug

While I was in Hong Kong, there was a news report about a Super Typhoon! Named Usagi, this storm was potentially the most powerful storm to hit the planet in nearly 30 years! With winds of 180 mph it was sweeping past Taiwan and headed straight for Hong Kong! I therefore decided to go to a theme park. Ocean Park is excellent, and was a lot of fun, and thankfully, I left before Super Typhoon Usagi could do some damage

Back at school, there have been a few changes to the schedule just for this week, meaning I've been teaching a class of teeny tiny toddlers. They are 3 years old, and can't speak much Korean, let alone much English. Obviously I am a giant to them, so I've been singing 'Old McDonald' to them while they sit, necks craned back to look up at the giant man, and drool. At the end of the week, some of them would hug my leg and say; 

"I love you Miss Victoria." Thats their regular teacher. Its been fun! But I'm looking forward to getting back to my older kids who can actually communicate next week!

No sporting action this weekend, though I am hopefully going to go to the Korean Formula 1 Grand Prix next weekend, and then its almost countdown to our next Open Class at school, and after that . . . . Christmas!



Finally, the Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle

This week, Tyrion learnt about the forthcoming release of a new, live action, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, scheduled for release next year! He was however, bemused by the storyline that the turtles are now aliens for some reason. He has also started learning kung fu, in the hopes of gaining a part in the new movie. Good luck, and god speed . . . .

Open Day and Shiny Goodbye



Its been a busy couple of weeks with a teacher leaving, a new teacher starting, an open day, the return to baseball action, the start of my Korean football and Korean cricket careers, the inevitable knee injury, and a visit to the toilet museum. Let me see if I can bring you all up to speed . . .

First up, the longest serving foreign teacher at our school left to go to Canadia, which means at a little over 6 months, I'm now the longest serving foreigner! As all the teachers live in the same building, we also had a little shuffle with our apartments, and before leaving, he made his apartment nice and shiny;

So on to Open Day. A couple of times a year, all the parents come in to observe the lessons for the day. Its a fee paying private school, so the parents want to see what they're paying for, and its also an opportunity for the school to really show off and hopefully drum up some extra business. This means the bosses are stressing out for weeks beforehand, as we practice and demo our classes again and again. But the day itself went really well. Its definitely a strange experience having 20 parents sat in the classroom aswell as your 20 kids, but it just gives you some extra motivation to really show off and play to the crowd. Its great fun!

There was a tiny little issue in my science class, as the Korean teachers moved some of the displays around prior to Open Day, and they didn't put things back exactly as they had been. See if you can spot the error (there may be more than one);

In sports news, I made my debut for Inter Suwon FC, but it didn't last long. What was later diagnosed as a sprained PCL (posterior cruciate ligament) meant I had to come off at halftime. So no more football for 4-6 weeks. That doesn't stop me playing baseball or cricket though, as I also made my debut for the Seoul Exiles cricket team. However, we were thrashed by the Pakistan Eagles. I put on 15 off 5 overs for the opening wicket, but after I feathered one behind, we collapsed to 43 all out off only 10 overs. Unsurprisingly, we struggled to exert much scoreboard pressure in defending that total, and lost pretty quickly. Still it was nice to get out there, and we might be playing a friendly against the Korean National side soon.

I also visited Suwon's world famous Restroom Cultural Park and Toilet Museum. I was flush with excitement, and rightly so, it was amazing! Its not often you get to read sentences like

"The Toilet Culture Movement started in the late 1990s in Suwon . . . "

Aswell as learning all about the great work that the WTA (thats the World Toilet Association) does around the globe, and the 'Toilet Revolution' that was started right here in Korea.

It was brilliant! Pick your favourite from the pictograms below (I like Indonesia and Canadia)

Finally, the Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle

Well its Korean Thanksgiving next week, so there's many gift packs and special things for sale in all the shops and supermarkets. As Tyrion is a Korean turtle, I decided to buy him a little present to give thanks

Koreans love spam. FACT

(Turtles love spam too. FACT)

  

Independence Day

August 15th is Korean Independence Day, so we get a day off school, there are flags everywhere, and everyone is watching that movie with Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum;

So it seems like a nice time to tackle the issue of the excessive heat in Korea during the summer. They have a rainy season that lasts for around 6 weeks from the beginning of July. Its over 30 degrees every day, and it rains pretty much every day. With rainy season now over, we're back to heat of easily over 30 degrees every day, but at least its not raining all the time. With humidity of over 90% most of the time though, you just get used to living your life drenched in sweat. All the time. And I'm not talking about patches around the armpit. I mean that you start to sweat the second you walk out of the door of your air-conditioned apartment, and about 15 minutes later, you don't have sweat patches, because your shirt has reached a uniform level of dampness. At school, I am quite literally dripping sweat, from my head, my arms, my legs, everywhere. I occasionally have kids saying "Teacher, water why?" and pointing at the water dripping off me. Its not fun, but you do get used to it.
One of the ways I deal with it, is by eating bing-su, a Korean snack involving fruit and lots of shaved ice. You can get small cups of it, but you can also get big bowls of the stuff, and its delicious;

                                              It really is delicious! And best of all, its cold!

Another way to cool down during the summer, is by getting wet. Obviously there's plenty of coastline, and a lot of outdoor swimming pools, but there is also the chance to go white water rafting. Which is something that quite a lot of people, Korean and foreign, do at the weekend. Korea is quite mountainous, so the river water is usually pretty cold. And its a lot of fun;

Now that the rainy season is over, its also time for the baseball season to resume, so I'll be back out there on Saturday. I also hope to resume my football career the next day, after 18 months out with a serious knee injury, we'll see if my creaking joints can hold up.

And on the subject of Korean Independence, I had one of my students come up to me last week, while we were writing stories, and ask me
"Teacher, are we North Korea, or South Korea?"
"We're South Korea." I replied.
"Hmmmm . . . . good. Good." He said, and went back to his seat. I have images of this poor kid watching the news with his parents and thinking "I hope that's not us, they sound like dicks!"

And finally,
The Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle

Well sadly, the Game of Thrones TV series from which Tyrion derives his name, is finished. So my little turtle has nothing to watch on TV. He has made his feelings very clear;



Summer Holiday

Well the tragic part about summer holidays in Korea, is their length. The kids here work really really hard, and unless you're at a public school, then the kids get one week off in the summer, and one week off in the winter. And that's it. Two weeks off all year. Compared to the 14 weeks off that kids in the west get.

So I made the most of my summer vacation, and jetted off to Okinawa. Part of Japan, but a 3 hour flight from Tokyo, stranded in the middle of the pacific, and with its own language, its really another world. And a beautiful world it is too. This is the view from my hotel room on Akajima. 

I had a wonderful time, there's a lot of history from World War II, where the Battle of Okinawa was the largest and bloodiest land battle of the Pacific theatre, claiming over 200,000 lives. There's also a lot of history from the time of the Ryukyu Kingdom, that flourished from the 14th-18th century until mainland Japan took control. So I visited many monuments, and old castles and tombs.

There's also an abundance of wildlife, including wild deer, that I saw just walking around on the beach, aswell as giant Okinawan tree spiders, of which I also saw a fair few. The waters are also perfect for diving, and the the number and variety of aquatic life I saw when I went snorkelling and scuba diving was simply breathtaking. Aswell as a multitude of fish, sea snakes, eels, and coral, I got incredibly close to a giant sea turtle, which was a wonderful experience.

They also make their own special alcohol on Okinawa, using the venom from a poisonous snake species native to the islands. You can buy jars of the stuff, complete with coiled snake at the bottom;

But after the vacation it was straight back to work, and back to playing games and singing songs with the kids! Its also nearly the end of the rainy season in Korea, which means we'll soon be done with temperatures over 30 degrees coupled with rain every day, which is not a nice combo. And it also means the baseball season is back this weekend, so while England can bask in the glory of retaining the Ashes in a real bat/ball sport, I'll be back out on the diamond this Saturday, playing crossbat shots at full tosses.

Finally, the Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle

This week, I thought I'd share with you a picture of one of little Tyrion's big cousins, a giant sea turtle from the tank in the Sea Turtle Museum on Kumejima;



The DMZ and the Lions/Tigers

This weekend I ventured into North Korea, as part of a tour around the DMZ (demilitarized zone) and the JSA (Joint Security Area) along the border between these two friendly neighbours. Despite the name, the DMZ is actually the most heavily militarized border in the world, with amongst other things, over two million landmines covering the 4 km wide strip that runs coast to coast across the Korean peninsula. The tour takes you into the JSA, where all talks between the two sides take place, in buildings built right on top of the border. You can go into conference rooms, where one half of the room is in South Korea, and the other half of the room is in North Korea. In the picture below, you can see a South Korean soldier in the foreground, hiding behind a blue building (these are the buildings right on the border), in the distance, you can see a North Korean building, with a North Korean soldier stood on guard at the top of the steps.

Peek-a-boo!

You are strongly and repeatedly reminded not to point, wave, or make any gestures towards the north. You also have to sign a waiver saying if you get shot, bombed, or generally killed, its your own fault.

The tour takes in the Bridge of No Return, where POWs were exchanged following the end of hostilities in 1953, and where until the 1980s, North Korea soldiers would come across to try and grab a UN or South Korean soldier and drag them across to the other side. After a series of 'incidents' it was agreed that both sets of soldiers would keep to their own side of the border in the JSA.
It also takes in one of the four infiltration tunnels so far discovered. These tunnels were dug by the north, presumably in preparation for a sneak attack on the south. When discovered, the north claimed the tunnels were old coal mining tunnels, and although there is coal dust painted on the tunnel walls, it is a geological impossibility for there to be coal in the region.
You also watch various videos about 'Freedom Village' the village on the south side of the DMZ, and 'Propaganda Village' the village on the north side of the DMZ. While 'Freedom Village' is home to a few hundred South Koreans (who are exempt from tax and military service, and who farm the local area), 'Propaganda Village' is just that. A fake village, with fake buildings, complete with doors and windows painted on, that contains a massive flag pole (60metres bigger than the 100metre flag pole on the south side), and lots of loud speakers, that until recently blared out propaganda about the glories of Kim Jong-Il for 12 hours a day.

Our US Army tour guide also described how wildlife is thriving in the DMZ and surrounding areas. Due to the fact that no-one has really entered this 250km x 4km strip for 60 years, and no-one really lives nearby, lots of plants and animal species thrive. He said;
"There's deer, boar, tigers, storks, herons, eagles. All sorts."
"Sorry, did you say tigers?"
"Tigers, lions, whatever they are, they're real big. I've got pictures."
Whatever he has pictures of, they are definitely not tigers. Or lions. And from time to time, this flourishing wildlife does tend to step on the odd landmine.
"Yeah we always have to review the CCTV footage of any incident. Its not fun watching a cute little Bambi looking deer get blown to smithereens, but there you go."

But there is a cute side to war;

Keeping guard at the DMZ

I also visited Gyeonghuigung Palace in Seoul. The palace was originally built in 1617, but was largely destroyed during the Japanese occupation, and it was only recently rebuilt, which is why it looks so new.

And finally, the Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle

Well like most turtles, Tyrion is a massive rugby fan, so he was ecstatic as the Lions recorded their first series victory for 16 years after thrashing Australia in the deciding test. Look how happy he is;

This little piggy . . .

Success! I managed to fairly effectively traumatise a child in science class last week.
We were making little wooden pigs, which involved quite a lot of hammering little nails into these little bits of wood, as the individual legs and ears of the pig had to be nailed on to the body. As the kids I teach are about 7 years old, and there are 60 kids, each making their own little pig, each one involving 6 individual nails hammered into the wood, I had to do a fair amount of prep work so that each kid could get to bang the hammer a little in the lesson, and the pigs would actually be completed. I would do half of each pig (i.e. two legs and one ear) beforehand, and then I would get the fiddly bit out of the way, by starting off each nail, so the kids could then hammer in the remaining two legs and one ear during the lesson.
Now it really was quite small and fiddly, and I am a giant, with massive clown hands, so inevitably, I hit my finger with the hammer on occasion. No big deal, I'm tough, I can take it (with only a few manly tears). However, it did lead to me having quite a decent sized blood blister on my index finger. So there I was, in the lesson, holding this little kid's half finished pig in my hand, tapping at the nail, as the kid sits there patiently waiting his turn to use the hammer. And sure enough, I hit my finger again, popping the blood blister, which duly squirted a surprisingly large amount of blood all over this poor little kid's toy pig, right in front of his startled eyes. "TEACHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRR!!!"
My Korean co-teacher handed me some tissue to wipe off the kid's little pig before I handed it back so he could finish colouring it in. Something tells me he won't be treasuring that little toy pig forever and ever . . .


Away from mentally scarring young children, I joined a group called Adventure Korea, which I highly recommend. Every week, they run expeditions; white water rafting, bungee jumping, hiking, surfing, that kind of thing, so last weekend, I joined them to go paragliding. We met up early on Sunday morning in Seoul, and took the bus down to Amyeoung-do, an island off the west coast. After a hike up to the top of some hills, and a brief and confusing, multi-lingual instruction in what to do (basically, run until you're in the air), I was off! Here I am, about to soar like an eagle;

 
And here I am, actually soaring like an eagle (if an eagle had a massive parachute obviously);

It was awesome fun, and I will most definitely be trying to do it again. And I highly recommend it to anyone who is thinking of trying it. Its very popular in Korea, as Koreans love anything that involves lots of accessories, so there are plenty of paragliding clubs that you can join.


Finally, the Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle

Well this week, so he wouldn't get jealous, I made Tyrion a tiny parachute, so he can go paragliding round the apartment. And he is loving it! Airborne turtles are the future . . . .

Camping in Korea

My school had their annual Fathers Camp this weekend, which meant I had to work on a Saturday, but it was good fun. All the 6-year-old kids from our school and their Dads travelled into the country to 'camp' at another school. Now Koreans love to camp, but they never actually sleep in their tents. They just like to take their tents to the beach or a park, or in this case a school, to 'camp' for the day, and then go home. So it was somewhat strange to see tents in a school carpark, but there we go.
The day started with a bizarre Nazi Youth style warm up, as all the kids and their Dads lined up in a field, while the Principal led them in a series of stretches and exercises, from a stage at the front, before making them swear an oath of some sort. They then did a series of dances, led by various different Korean teachers. We then split up into groups, to play games with the kids for the day. My group spent the day playing balloon games with the kids and their Dads, and dancing around to Justin Bieber. It really was a lot of fun. After a long day, I took the school bus back with my kids, and they were exhausted;

I also got called out as a fraud of a Science Teacher for the first time. So far in 'Science' we have drawn a picture of a bee, made a picture of a living room with different coloured wrapping paper, drawn a made-up animal, and coloured in a wooden dog. But this week, we were doing something even less scientific. We were painting bags. One of the kids asked, as he was happily painting big red and green stripes on his bag, "Teacher science yes?" Yeah sorry kids, all you arty types are going to be massively disappointed when you go to High School, thinking you really like science. You will be in for a shock!
Next week, we're colouring in a little wooden pig. I don't think they do too much wooden pig colouring in at CERN.


Away from school, I visited Seoraksan National Park last weekend. Its probably most Koreans favourite place, and it really is beautiful. Though climbing mountains in 30 degree heat is not fun. I went all the way to the top of this rock, called Ulsanbawi (which sounds a lot like Awesome Bowie, so I spent the day singing David Bowie songs);

I also had my first taste of screen golf. Golf is very popular in Korea, but there are very very few golf courses, as there isn't much suitable land in the country that doesn't already have buildings on it. So instead Koreans play screen golf. You go to a small room, and there is a giant screen at one end, and you smack real golf balls with real clubs at the screen, and various cameras sense how well you hit the ball, and track where it would have gone. You can therefore play a full 18 holes of golf, without ever leaving the room, or having to walk around looking for your ball. The screen is like a big heavy curtain, so the balls don't bounce off. Though if you're not very good at golf, you can accidentally ping balls off the walls or ceiling before diving for cover. Not that I did that. Honest. Its also, really loud. Its actually pretty terrifying, but certainly good fun.

We're gonna get those terrorists. Now watch me hit this drive.

Finally, the Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle

Well like many people, Tyrion was shocked recently while watching Game of Thrones episode 'The Red Wedding.' I really should have done a reaction video. He got furious with life and broke the filter in his tank, before crying for days. 

Don't laugh at pee pants

Well it was another teaching first for me this week, I had my first kid pee themselves in my class! One of my colleagues had gone home sick, so I was covering her class, a bunch of kids around 8 years old, and 5 minutes in, everybody is stood up, singing a song, and then screams of "TEACHER!!!!" and lots of pointing as a puddle appears beneath this poor girl! I sent her running off to the bathroom (why didn't she just ask to go?!?!?), calmly finished the song (I'm a real pro now!), then moved all the kids over to one side of the classroom, away from the pee puddle, and got the smartest kid in the class to read a story to the rest of the class while I went and got a mop! Fun times! She returned to the class after about 20 minutes, and we all just carried on as if nothing had happened. "Its fine, just peed myself, no big deal." It took all my self control not to rip the piss (pun intended) out of this girl, but as I said, I'm a pro, and its kind of frowned upon for teachers to bully their students.

In other teaching news, we had my first open class this week. This is when all the parents of the kids come in, and watch some classes to see what all their cash is buying for their little princes and princesses. Everything went really well, and as a reward, the principal took us all out for an all-you-can-eat buffet which was pretty sweet. Though at the restaurant, I bumped into one of my kids, who had not been to school that day. Busted!!!
And as an added bonus, its Memorial Day this Thursday, which means another day off school, jackpot!


Away from school I visited the island of Jebudo last weekend. Its quite a small island, you can walk round the whole thing in a couple of hours, but its pretty nice. Its also really easy to get to from Seoul and Suwon, you can just hop on a bus, and its about an hour away. You do have to check the tide times though, as the road to the island is underwater for about 6 hours a day. While I was there, I saw a bunch of guys with parachutes and massive fans strapped to their backs, whizzing round the island, which looked like awesome fun, and something I will definitely be trying in the future!

In sporting news, my unbeaten run as a baseball superstar is over. We suffered our first defeat of the season two weeks ago, after which #onedefeated was trending for a while, but we followed that up by losing a tight game 2-1 last weekend to take my career record to 4 wins, 2 defeats. But more importantly, I finally contributed something other than style and breath-taking good looks, as I crushed one straight down the middle to register our one run in that 2-1 loss. No game for two weeks, but I assume I'll be promoted to lead-off hitter now. Also planning to go see some international football next week, as South Korea take on everyone's favourite Stan, Uzbekistan in a World Cup qualifier. Should be an absolute belter!
Also went in search of some pool this week, and after a few fails, finally found somewhere with a pool table. Most of the pool halls are full of broken tables;

Try potting in those pockets

So what we call pool back home, here they call 'Pocketball' which is a great name! Everyone plays a weird version of Carom billiards here, which I was watching intently, but still didn't really understand. I'll give it a go at some point though.

Also went to the supermarket, and was reminded of Korea's obsession with gadgets and making sure everything is useful and serves a purpose;

Functional Candy - Don't just eat it. Use it!



Finally, its time for our usual feature, The Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle!

We had a bit of a drama this week, as I thought there was a leak in the tank! 

Turns out it was just a spring onion

I'll get my coat . . . . . 

Teachers Day!!!

Hot on the heels of Children's Day (which was the best day at school ever!), is Teacher's Day!
Yes, in your face teachers in other countries! In Korea, they have an official day for teachers! Its not a national holiday, but teachers could get free cinema tickets on the day! And loads of places were giving free coffee to teachers and free cakes and stuff like that. At my school, all the morning classes were cancelled, and we had an assembly that turned into a weird popularity contest. All the teachers were on the stage, and after the Principal and the owner said a bunch of stuff in Korean (presumably about how awesome we all are), the kids came up on to the stage, a class at a time, and got to hug their favourite teacher. All the classes have four main teachers; their regular (Korean) teacher, their assistant (Korean) teacher, then two English teachers; a bilingual (Korean) English teacher, and a foreign (i.e. me) English teacher. So we were keeping score. And more importantly, keeping track of the kids that didn't rush to hug you.
"Right you little sh*t, I'm giving you extra homework next time!" 

We also got loads of presents and cards from the kids. Apparently its tradition to give a carnation here, so I got some real and some paper carnations, some cards, and one of my kids made me a penguin, because I'd told them it was my favourite animal;

Happy Teacher's Day!

You may also be aware that last week was Buddha's birthday. He was 2576! That's a lot of candles. It also meant we got Friday off work, so I went down to Busan for the long weekend. Korea's second city is on the south coast, and is a major tourist destination. I bagged a hattrick of temples, including one on a cliff overlooking the ocean, and one carved into the rock up a mountain, which was pretty cool;

Koreans are very much an 'all the gear, no idea' kind of people. Now I climbed this mountain, and like a few other westerners that were there, I was wearing shorts, t-shirt, and trainers. It wasn't a massive climb, I saw one American dude in sandals. But all the Koreans are out in force, with full on mountaineering equipment; poles, gloves, super stretchy keep warm fabric, with hundreds of pockets, flashlight, compass, all this stuff hooked or strapped on to them somewhere. They look like a North Face store has vomited on them. For a gentle stroll in the woods on a sunny day. Its madness!

I also went to see the world's largest musical fountain! Its in a department store, and it was pretty cool. On the hour, every hour, they have a 10 minute show of lights, music, and water, and it was really something. This is indoor, with water falling from the 4th floor down to the ground, and shooting up. And the water sometimes spells out words and stuff like that. Check out a small sample here;

"here" 

Also, a note of caution. Learning English is obviously a really big thing in Korea, and there are lots of schools, and clubs and places you can go to learn English. But you do have to be careful. You should not, under any circumstances, send your kids here for example;

Lastly, the adventures of Tyrion the turtle!

This week, I put a mouse into his terrarium. He ripped it to shreds in seconds! Beware boys and girls. Turtles may look cute, but they are one of nature's most vicious predators.
You have been warned . . . .


  

Children's Day!

I don't know where you come from, but when I grew up, there was no such thing as 'Children's Day.' And every year, when Mother's Day or Father's Day came round, and us kids would say to our parents' "This isn't fair! Why is there no Children's Day?" every year our parents would reply "EVERY day is Children's Day!!!" Well not in Korea!

Last Friday was Children's Day, and it was brilliant! Easily my favourite day since I've been here, it was sooooo much fun! All lessons were cancelled, all the kids had brought in toys from home, there was loads of party food, and all the kids were allowed to wear whatever they wanted. Which was great, as it meant a load of girls dressed as Disney princesses, lots of boys dressed as ninjas, a Batman, and my absolute favourite, one class with three Spidermen! In full muscle suits and masks and everything! They looked awesome!
In the morning, us teachers performed a play called 'The Mouse Wedding' where I played the King Mouse, and it was great fun, the kids loved it! Later, all the teachers went from classroom to classroom, eating party food, playing with the kids and their toys, and posing for loads of photographs with the kids. Here's one of my older kids (see if you can spot the failed attention seeker);

Being a foreign teacher in Korea is the biggest ego boost out there, you walk into a room and all the kids scream your name and rush to hug your leg or hold your hand, and I've never given so many high-fives in all my life! It is great fun, and it is not like working at all!

Though sometimes, you have to get tough, and this week, I gave my first kid lines (oooooooooooh!). This kid has been messing around in my class for a while, and while I've made him cry twice, I decided to go down the route of lines this time. So he had to write out ten times 'I will not mess around' as homework. He will also get in big trouble at home, as the reports went out last week, and his said, he needs to stop messing around in class. Two days later, he gets lines for messing around in class. Bad timing! 


Away from school, its been an epic weekend of sporting triumphs! Twitter users may have noticed that '#undefeated' was trending on twitter as my baseball team recorded another crushing victory, 16-3, to make it 3 wins from 3 this season (and in my entire baseball career!), and while I'm still yet to actually contribute anything positive on the field, I like to think I bring other things to the team, like style, class, and a bit of cultural diversity.

The mighty Sheffield Wednesday wrapped up their season with a win, which I celebrated twice, once for the win, and once later in the evening, when in a random Korean bar, my mate tapped me on the shoulder, pointed over the bar, and said "Isn't that where you're from?"

Glory Glory Sheffield Wednesday!

The mighty Suwon Bluewings put on another great show, beating those airport lovers from Incheon 1-0, and after the game, a few of us went for galbi, a kind of Korean BBQ. While humming the catchy Bluewings songs (because I don't actually know the words) in the restaurant, the Korean guy at the next table leaned over and said "Suwon Bluewings?" and then joined in the singing!


And finally the new segment called 'The Adventures of Tyrion The Turtle'

The little fella went on quite a journey this week! While cleaning out his tank, I put him in a holder in the shape of half an egg, the kind of thing you'd get a big easter egg in. With the smooth sides, and being a teeny tiny little thing, he can't climb out. So I was cleaning the tank out in the sink, and when I went back to the table, there was the egg. The empty egg. And there was no turtle. I looked on the floor, but couldn't see him, so I pulled out the table. And heard a clunk. I looked under the table and could see little Tyrion, on the floor. Not moving. He had fallen a good 1.5 metres off the table! Thankfully he was fine, but I now know he has gotten big enough to climb out of the egg, cos when I put him back in the egg, he climbed straight out. He is getting bigger! He'll be hunting gazelle in no time!

Teaching the Premiership

I've got to do my first bunch of student reports this week, as my kids are all about to move on to the next level of study. My 'teaching' is pretty much just singing songs, telling stories, and playing games all day, so from next week, we're moving on to more advanced songs, more advanced stories, and the same games! But first I have to write reports for about 40 kids, grading them on various different areas, then writing a little paragraph or two about each kid. Now the really good kids are easy to write about. And the really bad kids are easy to write about, but all the kids in the middle . . . . . what do you say? "Your child is average."?

So I thought I might just relate all the kids to Premiership football clubs;

"I frequently forget your child is in the room. They never do anything bad, they never do anything good.
Your child is West Brom."

"Your child is pretty much the same as West Brom child.
Your child is Fulham."

"Your child used to be really good when he/she was younger, but is now only good occasionally, and has a tendency to make a fool of him/herself.

Your child is Liverpool."

"Your child has a brand new iPad.
Your child is Man City."

"You bought your child an iPad, but it didn't help.
Your child is QPR."

"Your child really doesn't appear to be anything special, but then whenever we have a test, your child comes top.
Your child is Man Utd."

"Your child only joined the school last year, but has been a breath of fresh air, making friends with everyone.
Your child is Swansea."

"Your child plays very nicely with others, and is very good at drawing nice shapes, but hasn't done well in any tests for a while."
Your child is Arsenal."

"If you spent some money on books, CDs, DVDs, etc., then your child could really progress, but is still doing pretty well.
Your child is Everton."

"Your child seems to have a new Step-Dad every few months. Your child really doesn't like his/her current Step-Dad. Your child really wants his/her real special Dad to come back.
Your child is Chelsea."

"Your child is French.
Your child is Newcastle."


You get the idea. Though maybe the parents would need to be fans of English football to really appreciate it?

As for my status as the school's Science Teacher, so far in science we have;
- Drawn a beehive and cut out a picture of a bee.
- Played with a magnetic board and some magnets.
- Coloured in a wooden doll.
- Made a wooden dog that for some reason, had wheels (as dogs don't generally have).

Its all very technical. Each Monday I am filled with excitement to see what scientific discovery the kids will be making this week!

Oh, and I did manage to accidentally send a kid sprawling across the floor this week. I sit on a chair at the front of the class, with the kids sat in a horseshoe shape in front of me, and I'd asked one of the kids to come up and point at a carrot in a picture I was holding. Well because I am hilarious, I decided to move the picture out of his reach as he tried to point, and as the kid tried to reach for the picture, he lunged at it, went over my knee, and went flying! I thought it was hilarious! Thankfully so did he! Oops!


Away from school life I visited Seodaemun Prison this weekend. Its situated in Independence Park in Seoul, and is kept as a historical monument to all the Koreans who were imprisoned and tortured while fighting for independence against Japanese rule. As you may or may not know, Japan occupied Korea from 1910 - 1945, and fairly brutally oppressed the Korean people, leading to a lingering dislike of Japanese people amongst Koreans to this day. Thousands of Koreans were tortured and executed at Seodaemun, and it was certainly an interesting place to visit and learn about the Korean struggle to restore their independence.

On a lighter note, my baseball career continued with another crushing win, 14-4 this time, meaning I am still undefeated! We've got a good stock of pitchers, so I don't think I'll ever get the chance to pull out my curveball or anything like that! And I'm still yet to get on base while batting. Hitting it is no problem, its getting to first base before the ball thats the hard part! Still its all about the team, and while we keep winning (and following up the wins by sitting in the sun, drinking beer and eating hotdogs), I'll be happy!


And finally a new segment called 'The Adventures of Tyrion The Turtle'

This week, I introduced little Tyrion to his namesake, and he watched him intently for clues as to how to act;

Tyrion (top) meet Tyrion (bottom)

Anyway, he seemed pretty happy afterwards, and now he understands more about where his name came from. I think its important that everyone knows a little about their name. For instance, I'm named after my Grandad. My middle name anyway. I'm Dave Grandad Bainbridge . . . .



Korean Festivals!

Koreans love festivals! But they do seem to overuse the word 'festival' a bit. I mean, when I think of a festival, I think of a big event, lots of people, lots of things going on, food, drink, stalls selling stuff, that kind of thing. If that's what you expect in Korea, you will be sorely disappointed. Basically, any time anything happens in Korea, its a festival. So this weekend, I went to a cherry blossom festival in Gunsan. Which basically means, there were some cherry blossoms in Gunsan. They look very nice, don't get me wrong, but its not a festival.

Festival? Or traffic and nice trees?

Later in the year, they have a bird festival. This is when a large amount of migrating birds pass through the area. Again, not very 'festive' is it?

Still, its not just 'festival' that is maybe not quite used correctly. I went to a maritime theme park too! Now, when I say theme park, you're probably thinking there were some sort of rides, roller coasters, that kind of thing? No. There was an old navy troop ship you could go on, that was kind of like a museum, and some old tanks and planes.

Not exactly Alton Towers is it?



The museum was pretty entertaining though, one of the best things about being abroad is the great 'lost in translation' type moments, when a sign says something, that maybe doesn't quite convey the original meaning. For example, this sign about a small hand-held cannon;

 . . . even women or children could use . . .



And lastly, I now have a pet turtle! On one of the facebook groups for expats, someone posted that they were giving away a turtle and the tank and everything as they were moving back home, so I thought, "Why not?!?" So now I have a tiny little turtle! He is slightly bigger than my thumbnail, and is about 6 months old. His name is Tyrion Turtle, and he is currently enjoying listening to some Bon Jovi (the latest album - What About Now). As we are in Korea, you might call it a Bon Jovi festival!

Little Tyrion enjoying the Bon Jovi festival