This little piggy . . .

Success! I managed to fairly effectively traumatise a child in science class last week.
We were making little wooden pigs, which involved quite a lot of hammering little nails into these little bits of wood, as the individual legs and ears of the pig had to be nailed on to the body. As the kids I teach are about 7 years old, and there are 60 kids, each making their own little pig, each one involving 6 individual nails hammered into the wood, I had to do a fair amount of prep work so that each kid could get to bang the hammer a little in the lesson, and the pigs would actually be completed. I would do half of each pig (i.e. two legs and one ear) beforehand, and then I would get the fiddly bit out of the way, by starting off each nail, so the kids could then hammer in the remaining two legs and one ear during the lesson.
Now it really was quite small and fiddly, and I am a giant, with massive clown hands, so inevitably, I hit my finger with the hammer on occasion. No big deal, I'm tough, I can take it (with only a few manly tears). However, it did lead to me having quite a decent sized blood blister on my index finger. So there I was, in the lesson, holding this little kid's half finished pig in my hand, tapping at the nail, as the kid sits there patiently waiting his turn to use the hammer. And sure enough, I hit my finger again, popping the blood blister, which duly squirted a surprisingly large amount of blood all over this poor little kid's toy pig, right in front of his startled eyes. "TEACHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRR!!!"
My Korean co-teacher handed me some tissue to wipe off the kid's little pig before I handed it back so he could finish colouring it in. Something tells me he won't be treasuring that little toy pig forever and ever . . .


Away from mentally scarring young children, I joined a group called Adventure Korea, which I highly recommend. Every week, they run expeditions; white water rafting, bungee jumping, hiking, surfing, that kind of thing, so last weekend, I joined them to go paragliding. We met up early on Sunday morning in Seoul, and took the bus down to Amyeoung-do, an island off the west coast. After a hike up to the top of some hills, and a brief and confusing, multi-lingual instruction in what to do (basically, run until you're in the air), I was off! Here I am, about to soar like an eagle;

 
And here I am, actually soaring like an eagle (if an eagle had a massive parachute obviously);

It was awesome fun, and I will most definitely be trying to do it again. And I highly recommend it to anyone who is thinking of trying it. Its very popular in Korea, as Koreans love anything that involves lots of accessories, so there are plenty of paragliding clubs that you can join.


Finally, the Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle

Well this week, so he wouldn't get jealous, I made Tyrion a tiny parachute, so he can go paragliding round the apartment. And he is loving it! Airborne turtles are the future . . . .

Camping in Korea

My school had their annual Fathers Camp this weekend, which meant I had to work on a Saturday, but it was good fun. All the 6-year-old kids from our school and their Dads travelled into the country to 'camp' at another school. Now Koreans love to camp, but they never actually sleep in their tents. They just like to take their tents to the beach or a park, or in this case a school, to 'camp' for the day, and then go home. So it was somewhat strange to see tents in a school carpark, but there we go.
The day started with a bizarre Nazi Youth style warm up, as all the kids and their Dads lined up in a field, while the Principal led them in a series of stretches and exercises, from a stage at the front, before making them swear an oath of some sort. They then did a series of dances, led by various different Korean teachers. We then split up into groups, to play games with the kids for the day. My group spent the day playing balloon games with the kids and their Dads, and dancing around to Justin Bieber. It really was a lot of fun. After a long day, I took the school bus back with my kids, and they were exhausted;

I also got called out as a fraud of a Science Teacher for the first time. So far in 'Science' we have drawn a picture of a bee, made a picture of a living room with different coloured wrapping paper, drawn a made-up animal, and coloured in a wooden dog. But this week, we were doing something even less scientific. We were painting bags. One of the kids asked, as he was happily painting big red and green stripes on his bag, "Teacher science yes?" Yeah sorry kids, all you arty types are going to be massively disappointed when you go to High School, thinking you really like science. You will be in for a shock!
Next week, we're colouring in a little wooden pig. I don't think they do too much wooden pig colouring in at CERN.


Away from school, I visited Seoraksan National Park last weekend. Its probably most Koreans favourite place, and it really is beautiful. Though climbing mountains in 30 degree heat is not fun. I went all the way to the top of this rock, called Ulsanbawi (which sounds a lot like Awesome Bowie, so I spent the day singing David Bowie songs);

I also had my first taste of screen golf. Golf is very popular in Korea, but there are very very few golf courses, as there isn't much suitable land in the country that doesn't already have buildings on it. So instead Koreans play screen golf. You go to a small room, and there is a giant screen at one end, and you smack real golf balls with real clubs at the screen, and various cameras sense how well you hit the ball, and track where it would have gone. You can therefore play a full 18 holes of golf, without ever leaving the room, or having to walk around looking for your ball. The screen is like a big heavy curtain, so the balls don't bounce off. Though if you're not very good at golf, you can accidentally ping balls off the walls or ceiling before diving for cover. Not that I did that. Honest. Its also, really loud. Its actually pretty terrifying, but certainly good fun.

We're gonna get those terrorists. Now watch me hit this drive.

Finally, the Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle

Well like many people, Tyrion was shocked recently while watching Game of Thrones episode 'The Red Wedding.' I really should have done a reaction video. He got furious with life and broke the filter in his tank, before crying for days. 

Don't laugh at pee pants

Well it was another teaching first for me this week, I had my first kid pee themselves in my class! One of my colleagues had gone home sick, so I was covering her class, a bunch of kids around 8 years old, and 5 minutes in, everybody is stood up, singing a song, and then screams of "TEACHER!!!!" and lots of pointing as a puddle appears beneath this poor girl! I sent her running off to the bathroom (why didn't she just ask to go?!?!?), calmly finished the song (I'm a real pro now!), then moved all the kids over to one side of the classroom, away from the pee puddle, and got the smartest kid in the class to read a story to the rest of the class while I went and got a mop! Fun times! She returned to the class after about 20 minutes, and we all just carried on as if nothing had happened. "Its fine, just peed myself, no big deal." It took all my self control not to rip the piss (pun intended) out of this girl, but as I said, I'm a pro, and its kind of frowned upon for teachers to bully their students.

In other teaching news, we had my first open class this week. This is when all the parents of the kids come in, and watch some classes to see what all their cash is buying for their little princes and princesses. Everything went really well, and as a reward, the principal took us all out for an all-you-can-eat buffet which was pretty sweet. Though at the restaurant, I bumped into one of my kids, who had not been to school that day. Busted!!!
And as an added bonus, its Memorial Day this Thursday, which means another day off school, jackpot!


Away from school I visited the island of Jebudo last weekend. Its quite a small island, you can walk round the whole thing in a couple of hours, but its pretty nice. Its also really easy to get to from Seoul and Suwon, you can just hop on a bus, and its about an hour away. You do have to check the tide times though, as the road to the island is underwater for about 6 hours a day. While I was there, I saw a bunch of guys with parachutes and massive fans strapped to their backs, whizzing round the island, which looked like awesome fun, and something I will definitely be trying in the future!

In sporting news, my unbeaten run as a baseball superstar is over. We suffered our first defeat of the season two weeks ago, after which #onedefeated was trending for a while, but we followed that up by losing a tight game 2-1 last weekend to take my career record to 4 wins, 2 defeats. But more importantly, I finally contributed something other than style and breath-taking good looks, as I crushed one straight down the middle to register our one run in that 2-1 loss. No game for two weeks, but I assume I'll be promoted to lead-off hitter now. Also planning to go see some international football next week, as South Korea take on everyone's favourite Stan, Uzbekistan in a World Cup qualifier. Should be an absolute belter!
Also went in search of some pool this week, and after a few fails, finally found somewhere with a pool table. Most of the pool halls are full of broken tables;

Try potting in those pockets

So what we call pool back home, here they call 'Pocketball' which is a great name! Everyone plays a weird version of Carom billiards here, which I was watching intently, but still didn't really understand. I'll give it a go at some point though.

Also went to the supermarket, and was reminded of Korea's obsession with gadgets and making sure everything is useful and serves a purpose;

Functional Candy - Don't just eat it. Use it!



Finally, its time for our usual feature, The Adventures of Tyrion the Turtle!

We had a bit of a drama this week, as I thought there was a leak in the tank! 

Turns out it was just a spring onion

I'll get my coat . . . . .